Getting my "stuff" together

It’s coming… In less than one week, I will leave the safe comfort of my twenties into the dirty thirties. While I am not one of those people who worry about age number, I have to say turning 30 has made me think a lot about my life. Like most women, I don’t want to ever look older than my age. However, I have been blessed with some very young looking genes that keep me looking barely old enough to drink on some days. So it’s not really the “aging” looks of the big 3-0 that have got me thinking. It’s all the rest. My hair stylist said the other day; she couldn’t wait to be thirty. She’s about 25 and said she always thought that by the time you were 30, you’d have your stuff together. This is what got me thinking…

Do I have all my “stuff” together?

On paper, I guess I’m heading in the right direction. I’ve earned both a bachelor and master degree. I have a husband of nearly four years who I adore (at least most of the time). I own my own house and have been blessed to take some amazing vacations. So why do I feel so un-achieved? Perhaps it is my work situation. I guess by the time I was 30, I always thought I’d be working in a fabulous job doing something I love and making boatloads of cash. Hmmm…not so much. My job is enjoyable but definitely only part-time and totally not making me financially comfortable. Friendship is also starting to shift and making feel like a bit of a failure. A lot of my friends are so caught up in the baby boom; they seem to have forgotten about everything else. Now, I know that having a child changes things and I am super psyched for them. BUT, just because I don’t have a child yet doesn’t mean I don’t like kids or am maternally-challenged. I wouldn’t mind visiting with them and their little bundles, but friendships have turned into something I cherished and enjoyed into something I have to work for and find limited satisfacation.
I guess as I turn 30, I need to stop focusing on what other people think and find ways to make me happy. So what my job is the high-profile career I dreamed? I am happy helping others in the library and the part-time hours aren’t so bad. The money will find a way into my wallet (at least I hope!) and true friendships will always prevail. As I write this I am reminded of a poem I have always enjoyed entitled, “I’ve learned…” (I’ll post this in a separate post as it’s a bit long.) I’m not sure who originally penned this but reading it back, makes me realize how much I have actually learned and that maybe I do have my “stuff” together more than I think.